Is Roger the new Henri? Hopefully. Roughly a decade ago when Joburg’s happy and gay district on Henri Street, Braamfontein, closed all it’s doors, we thought we were doomed to the northern suburbs forever. Now Roger Road in Selby, on the southern side of the CBD, is home to two new gay bars, Rawbar and SimplyBlue. Nestled in between CitrusLounge and Lemon8, Rawbar is a welcome and stylish addition to Joburg’s rather flaccid gay scene (which includes Risque in Fourways). The CitrusLounge crew have again shown their skills at creating spaces that are conducive to, um, crowded and fun times. Promoted as an “all male cruise and booze bar”, this place isn’t for girls. Or sissies.

38 Roger Rd (corner Webber), Selby

+27 82 094 0029

If your idea of nightlife is about nineties nostalgia then The Oxford on Oxford Road, Illovo is the place for you. If you’re impressed by heavily made-up bottle blondes and mammoth bouncers in ’smart’ shoes, then this club will be right up your alley. Problem is – it’s not up an alley. It’s in a office block/car-park/restaurant court. You even have to exit the club and face the fluorescent lighting of the centre to get to the loo. Clubbing in Johannesburg is best when it’s about downtown discos, sublime djs, sexy views and no pretension. The Oxford feels more like a pop-up club with dated trimmings. Thumbs down.

This very cutely named store is the place you need to go for a snack. It’s just that – a bakery that will also give you a cheese burger and chips for a shade over R20 or a Finding Nemo themed birthday cake so clear it looks screen-printed. The queues around lunch time are testament to the cheap, hit-the-spot quick bites that the busy Joe needs to keep moving for the rest of the day. For those with the luxury of time on their hands there’s a coffee shop attached that serves light lunches, with tables on Main Street. The vibe on the street is busy business – so dip your almond biscotti into your cappuccino while watching people meander past the large replica gold Zimbabwe Rhino in front of the Jenga-esque 45 Fox Street building. Try figure out how the building hasn’t fallen over yet.

Speedy tip – get on a first name basis with the lady running the show, get the phone number and pre-order a beef and avo wrap (with chips & salad on the side) for 28 bucks and have it at your table the minute you sit down. Impress your friends, get the promotion, be a hero.

Cnr Simmonds and Main St. Find them on the Main Street Strip

Not to be confused with the new fancy spot in Greenside, the original has been keeping things merry in the city centre for the last three years.

Located on the corner of Anderson and Simmonds, The Office seems to have the correct location and moniker to attract weary Standard Bankers to indulge in a few pints after work on a Friday. Indeed, it does do just that. Our first attempt at sampling what The Office has to offer ended at the door as they adhere strictly to closing times, with the second getting to the beer but not the food. You’ll part with twelve and a bit ZAR for a Label and the food seems to be around the R30 mark, but the kitchen closes at 3pm so be swift. You get the feeling from the décor and ambience inside that you really could be anywhere in South Africa, but least likely so in the CBD. So if your idea of going into the CBD is to get out of it, mentally at least, then The Office is your place. Otherwise it’s just fine for a cold one after a day in the city.

51 Anderson Street, Johannesburg. Tel +27 11 8387393

Here’s the menu

Cramers is great for a few reasons. The first, and maybe most important reason is its location. Main Street is one of the big assed roads that run from east to west of the city, ie Newtown in the west, and Maboneng to the east. Main Street is what dissects Ghandi Square. But when traveling east towards Ghandi Square, the road gets incredibly quaint and beautiful. I cant help but laugh when im walking this section of the city. Your in the centre of Johannesburg city now, and for many this is deemed by others as the dark and ominous! Surely this kind of street is in Rosebank, or Melrose Arch!!!

In the middle of the Main Street Strip is Cramers Coffee. A very simple, very effective coffee shop. Its clean, it has free wifi with every purchase, and it makes decent coffee. I had a killer hazelnut Mocha. I came with a coffee snob who didn’t dig his espresso, but we’ll let that one slide for now.

I went there bright and early, before my city day starts buzzing, and it felt like I was overseas. Hundred of people in suits and ties were walking the streets, heading into the banks, and skyscrapers nearby. This is it people, this is the city buzz thats the same everywhere in the world! Sorry to slip off on a tangent but if you’ve gotten this far down the post, please read one last sentence…if you don’t know where Im talking about, find a way to get down here and in the action, its developing without you!

Ko’s Spotong have got it very right. Using the true nature of the inner city (ie the hippest African vibe), add a chain of bar/restaurants around the city and you needn’t bother pretending you’re anywhere else except in Africa. The real Africa, not the one where you feel as if you’re in a theme park and you need to get your face painted in little white dots and flowers to convince yourself, aka Moyo.

While at the same time it also manages to be quite different from Jobusy favourites like Mamas Shebeen and Mama Tembos in that it’s far less conceptual, it’s just itself. No funny business.

Find them in Newtown, just off Mary Fitzgerald Square, and in Ghandi Square.

The concept is simple; get a bunch of happy people drunk, and then only play the best sing-along songs. A little on the expensive side, but the customers are encouraged to dance on the tables…

Cnr Oxford Road and Corlett Drive. Illovo

If I had one night to entertain a foreigner that was young and hip like myself, I wouldn’t think twice about taking them to a place like Mama’s Shebeen.

Not to be confused with Mama Tembos in Linden. Both are of a similar concept and both equally as cool. Mama’s Shebeen is smack in the middle of the Greenside Strip.

The style is one that successfully recreates a typical bar within a South African township. For the foreign folk reading this, this type of bar is commonly known as a Shebeen. The hand-painted product placement and bright mismatched furniture are just some of the aesthetics we’ve come to celebrate as unique South African design. They often have live music, and I’ve seen some makeshift dancefloor action. What’s truly great however, is its middle positioning between Gin and Tokyo Star. This serves as an airy pit-stop between the sweat and smoke, as well a great chance to bump into people you know mid bar hop.

PS: don’t bother eating here though.

found on the Greenside Strip on Gleneagles Ave. Here’s their official site

For the large part, Fratelli is a good old-school reliable family restaurant. The menu the simple, unpretentious  Italian. In the early evening on weekdays, expect families with little kids running around. It’s happy and pleasant. As night falls, and the weekend rolls around , the strip’s party excess spills over into Fratelli. This is especially the case with the upstairs balcony area.

Fratelli is notorious for its cocktail jugs. Get your hands on monster Mojitos, Caipirinhas and most other dangerous-sounding cocktails.  All for half price on Sundays too… They are also well enjoyed when accompanied by some live music.

Growing up in Johannesburg throughout the nineties, people would have noticed the increase in the Irish Bar clones throughout the city. Its a easy to get the big oak wood table, the Guinness ads on the wall, and the quirky Irish name. So its somewhat refreshing to walk into Bulldogs. Although the upstairs restaurant area is somewhat American Indian themed, it largly comes across as just being a bar bar Its proven to be perfect sport watching venue on many occasions, and the menu comprises of all the stuff you’d want from any steakhouse or grill. I know they house poker nights, and quiz nights, so we’ll update this post with any info we can gather.

After all this ramble, one defining factor shines the brightest. They are right in the middle of all the Rosebank action. And as Rosebank expands and connects to the rest of Johannsurg through the Gautrain, Bulldogs is in the right area.